Article in Cosmo titled "Tame the Bitch Within"

I recently stumbled upon this article titled "Tame the Bitch Within" published by Cosmopolitan Australia. It's a short read and in the context of being dumped in a relationship written by Carolin Dahlman, professional love coach and author. The tips here are useful indeed but easier said than done!

Women usually let their emotions cloud their better judgment. In this article the author herself refers to the situation leaving women in an "emotional mess". In reality, nothing makes any sense until we learn to separate our emotions and think more clearly. A rule-of-thumb is to never ever make a big decision when you are in an "emotional mess". It's usually the wrong decision.

If you ever find yourself in that break-up situation try the following:

* Focus on yourself and learn to "let go"
* Take your time to re-build that relationship with yourself and find out what you really want
* Take your time to heal and as you heal learn to forgive
* Keep your sense of humor :)

As a communicator, I encourage you to build a positive vocabulary and change the way you communicate to everyone. This will also change the way you feel. Here are some phrases that can be extremely powerful.

"Let Go"
"I am free"
"I can lead a better life"
"Forgive"
"Be strong"
"Stay positive"
"I deserve respect"

Start saying them today and see how you feel. I welcome any comments, feedback or experience to add to the list above and don't forget to smile. :D

Too much empathy?

Recently, I was told by a good childhood friend of mine that I have "too much empathy". My immediate reaction was, "What does that mean?" "Is that 'Good' or 'Bad'?" and off I went exploring a whole new area.

Lets forget about the statements for an instant and just focus on the reaction. I took my reaction as an opportunity to possibly explore yet a new area in that relationship with myself.

Here are the simple steps I took. First and foremost, I said to myself "There is no 'Good' or 'Bad'." Secondly, lets explore the meaning of the word "empathy".
Wikipedia gives a nice two-part explanation:

"Empathy is the capability to share and understand another person's emotions and feelings. It is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another person's shoes."

"Empathy does not necessarily imply compassion, sympathy, or empathic concern because this capacity can be present in context of compassionate or cruel behavior."

It's truly a skill and knowing that I have the capability to empathize makes me feel alive! and if this is who I am then I accept it.

But what happens when there is "too much" empathy. It's a big warning beacon to tell me that I need to take a step back and learn to manage that skill. At times, it's very easy to be carried away with other people's problems or the worlds problems at large - war, hunger, crime. At the end of the day, it comes back to that relationship you have with yourself and what is important to you at that point of time.

In summary, part of the journey to know more about yourself is to know the skills you have or you never knew you had :) and learn to use it for you.

A Bitch is Born

Traditionally, when you shout out the word “Bitch” you will get a surprise and often-hostile reaction. It sure didn’t help when during the days of “Dynasty” nor when the other Collin sister launched her bestseller book titled “The Bitch”, which in turn became a movie starring none other than the original Bitch – Joan Collins.

This term has certainly evolved over the past two decades and taken an empowering twist emerging as a much used and much loved term amongst women. Ironically “The Stud” remains the Stud even after all these years… no comment.

I like the way Sherry Argov uses it in a tongue-and-cheek way in her book “Why Men Love Bitches” published in 2002. Her perspective on how women should handle relationships is an eye-opener for many.

Bringing it a step further is Teresa Martin Binkley’s book entitled “The Bitch Within”. According to Teresa Martin Binkley, each woman is born with her own "bitch within," or TBW. This presence is not there to hold a woman back from life experiences or to conform to the way of life which is against her very soul, but to give her determination, inspiration and courage to face life head-on. After all it is an adventurous journey.

Lets begin our journey today and let that "Bitch Within be Born".